Tuesday, October 30, 2007

ABMU (2)

    (stands for Another Boring Medical Update)

It's been a while since I posted anything, mostly because I've been a bit poorly for the last few weeks. Five weeks, in fact. It started with a fairly normal, if rather severe, colitis attack - stomach cramps, diahrroea, feeling completely washed out. After a fairly prolonged period of liquid poo, I felt so washed out that I decided to take some iron tablets - something which is normally pretty good at perking me up.
However.

Iron supplements do have a tendency to make you constipated - not such a problem, you might think, and even a bit of a relief. This time, though, I found myself in considerable discomfort, which got worse and worse. After a couple of days, I was having to sit quietly for five minutes after going to the loo. After five days, I was in continuous pain from my rear end, and going to the loo was utter torture. A visit to see Kindly Consultant was quickly arranged, and that same day I was able to get a considered medical opinion on my problem, which was that I had an anal fissure.

What had happened was this: my arsehole had endured such a lengthy period of diarrhoea that it had softened somewhat, and the sudden introduction of small, hard things through its little maw was too much. It tore. It was probably only a tiny cut, but blimey it hurt. And it has hurt, ever since. Not only is the area incredibly sensitive, but any scab that forms has to undergo a battery of sh1te twice (three, four, five times) a day, making it very very slow to heal.

I was given some muscle relaxant cream (which goes by the rather charming name of Anoheal) to counteract the natural impluse to clench and cut off the blood flow around the offending area, thus hindering the healing process. In addition, I've found regular hot baths (regular like, every night) and sleeping with the electric blanket on (warmth increases blood flow, improves healing) have helped enormously - as has a big foam ring-shaped cushion, which sits on my office chair at work.

I'm definitely on the mend now - last weekend I discovered I could cross my legs again! Ah, the bliss of simple pleasures. But it will be a few weeks still before I can move freely, and in the meantime I am a very sedentary bunny indeed.

For the record, at the moment I am taking: mercaptopurine, Budenofalk, Alendronic acid. That may all change in a couple of weeks, though - I'll be going into hospital for a sigmoidoscopy, and if the results show a lot of inflammation (hmmm, d'you think that's likely? Maybe?), then the chances are I'll be put onto Infliximab - even stronger magic than 6MP, although the odds aren't great - something around 60% of patients respond to treatment. Hey ho.

9 comments:

Calum Fisher said...

F ck me, that's seriously tough. I've had bum horror before - I suppose most of us have - but nothing like that. Is a stomach transplant an option?

Debbie McKee said...

Did you know Calum went to his sigmoidologist and said Doc what is wrong with me? The doctor looked him over carefully and finally said well calum your optic nerve is connected to your rectum, which probably explains why you have such a shitty outlook on life.






ahem... is this thing on?

Paul M said...

"Anoheal" is better than "Healyersorass", but perhaps only marginally. I was considering asking if it was a topical medicine, but decided I really don't want to know.

I'm glad to hear you're on the mend.

Matt F said...

Thanks everyone - I am very much on the mend, thank God! Wasn't much fun, that.

xandra m said...

Best wishes for your recovery.

TARA W said...

Jeez, Moom, I'm so sorry you've been going through all that! I hope you recover as soon as possible.

Doctor Curry said...

Wow, what an ordeal! I'm glad you're beginning to pull out of it!

John Bush said...

Yeouch!

You poor bugger. Looks like an apple sauce-based diet for you for a couple of weeks... and no popcorn!

Murali Madhavan said...

Wish you a quick recovery, Matt.