Sunday, August 27, 2006
Bye bye Summer Girl
So I've had to return Summer Girl to her friends and her life, and it's
left me feeling a little like i've just had to put a fish back in the
water. We agreed this was going to be a Festival fling only, and now
she's off to study... something set-related... at RADA, down in London.
She has no idea how much I envy her that. To be able to go and do
something creative, as a student, in London... Well, I've been there,
and my jealousy is like a physical thing, twisting in my gut. All I can
do is watch, and wonder bitterly how I ended up where I am. And
wonder where the hell I go from here.
For some reason I've always been a little glamour-struck when it comes
to the theatre, in spite of knowing full well how haphazard, strung-out
and sordid it can be. Plus the fact that we got on so well, and she was
so sweet, makes it doubly hard. Creative, talented, funny -
that's the sort of combination that makes me go weak at the knees.
But hey ho. Go, little fishie!
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25 comments:
Are the two of you going to keep in contact with each other while she's in school?
if its meant to be then it WILL happen.
[[[hug]]]
She sounds great. Rather than throwing this one back, can't you put her in a local pond and start some kind of fish-farm or something? This metaphor's not helping is it?
Correspond. Visit. See what develops.
Take heart, it's only ...
So, did you dump here or did she dump you? That's the sort of thing that can easily become a long term relationship, in my experience. Besides, she's only a couple of hours away. Britain's only the size of your hat.
hatstand
Hat? Hatstand? Fish-farm? What on Earth are you lot talking about?
Anyway.
Am rather embarrassed to admit, but she did pop back for an encore last night (partly because she'd wandered off with my A-Z map of Edinburgh which I wanted back, and partly because she read this posting - just call me Silver-tongued DevilMoom :P). It still ends when she leaves for London, but I'm a lot happier about it - don't know if that's because I'm in complete denial, or because it actually seems like we might correspond, or what.
We'll see. Thanks for all your support and hugs, though! Feel a lot happier today.
I'd have kept the A-Z for sentimental reasons also as an excuse for you to write but hey...
Seconded - completely hatstand.
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
//she was so sweet//
Yeah, call me crazy, but using people for a fling doesn't strike me as sweet. But that's just because I am SO DAMN SWEET.
I'm sure it's better if both parties agree up front on the likely duration of a tryst, but frankly, most of us are not that cold-blooded when it comes to that kind of thing.
The tendentious voice-over in some relatively recent film (The English Patient? The Tailor of Panama? Something about a woman disappearing?) noted that one party in a relationship always needs the relationship much more than the other. I don't know if that's right, but it sounds good in a tendentious voice-over.
Well, it was a bit of a new experience for me, actually. never tried to have a relationship with a timetable before. It didn't seem to make that much difference, I didn't think. I don't think either of us held back - in fact, we probably told each other more than we would have done otherwise, because coyness just seemed to take too damn long.
Quite frankly, though, I think I'm in denial about the whole thing ending. Stealing an extra day or so has cheered me up no end, but has left me with a sneaking feeling that I'm heading for a bigger crash later.
You are a grownup not a kid on summer break. I suggest you give her a call each weekend and work up a time to visit soon.
.
Actually, I recommend the exact opposite - sometimes it's hard to distinguish pining from stalking. Give the girl some space and just drop her a friendly line now and again (as a friend, as opposed to would-be lover).
Amen to peter's anno. Not sure of your relative ages, but she's college aged. And obviously not looking to settle down. Are you? What do you really want for your life right now? Wife and kids, or just a girlfriend? There is something to be said for dating for dating's sake, but when you want a happy, cozy ilttle life, your priorities should shift to reflect that.
What AM I rambling on about!?
I'm not entirely sure, dear. Frankly, when I was her age (23, since you so tactfully didn't ask) I'd assumed that by the time I was my age (30) I'd be happily settled and considering kids. Since that hasn't happened, all bets are off. To be quite honest, I'm only just getting used to the idea of bachelorhood, despite having lived it for... well, quite a while.
Debbie, as always your advice is excellent. I am indeed a grownup. Bugger. However, the action you suggest is, in current context, a little forward. I think. Possibly. In fact, the idea that anything may happen afterwards may only be in my head.
Oh yeah, you did say you agreed it was to be a festival fling. Sounds like she has her goals firmly in mind. study.
I'm not sure if this is good advice or not; it's certainly not useful in an immediate sort of way. Acquire The Bluetones: Return to the Last Chance Saloon and listen to it a few times. Not sure that it offers much in the way of guidance, but it's kinda relevant and a good record. [post edited to sound assertive and confident]
In terms of more direct advice, perhaps let her know that you'd be happy to continue if she is. She might, after all, feel the same as you do. Then leave it at that, because if you push when she's not interested she'll make an effort to pull away. Then give it a couple of months. If you hear nothing, let it go.
[disclaimer: at her age, I have no idea what I'm talking about]
Well, she's gone now anyway. The messages are left. Whatever happens from here on, it's not part of the old story, because that was about the Festival. Whatever happens now, it's something new.
Thanks for the music advice though Dave.
actually these relationships are lovely because they get sweeter and purer as time goes by...
It may be "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" but surely it is worse to have lost someone for a pointless reason (like some preconceived notion of a timelimit). Does she know how you feel about her?
Okay, are you lot still talking about this? Bored now.
And cyana, dear, who the blazes are you, anyway? Hmmm... Aldershot, eh?
that's a cracking pick up line. would you mind if I borrowed it?
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